Oh sure, it'll all be joy and Pirate jerseys when Pittsburgh uses its top pick tonight on, it appears, Gerrit Cole. There'll be projected arrivals, dreams of nights spent together, a limitless future.

Well, at the risk of sounding like your homely friend on Valentine's Day: good luck with that. It doesn't always happen that way. Sometimes, there's a parting of the ways. So as you see teams and draftees running into each other's arms, slow-motion, on a beach, consider these partings before you get that "Brien Taylor 4Ever" tattoo you'll live to regret.

Every pick since 2005 is still with the team that drafted them, but 2004's top pick, Matt Bush, is now on his third team. The San Diego Padres tried to get their shortstop of the future, but Bush's off-field problems, combined with an inability to hit, led the Padres to convert him to pitching, then deal him to Toronto for cash considerations. The Blue Jays released him, and Bush finds himself toiling in Double-A for Tampa Bay now. He's posted a 6.97 ERA as a reliever so far this season, with too many walks, an off-the-charts strikeout rate, and a relatively dim future.

2003's top pick, Delmon Young, is no longer with his first love either, though the Rays certainly aren't too unhappy with the way the future turned out. Young made his debut in 2006, and showed signs of becoming a strong everyday option on the outfield in 2007, posting a 91 OPS+ at age 21 while playing in all 162 games. The Rays then traded Young, Brendan Harris and Jason Pridie to the Minnesota Twins for Matt Garza, Jason Bartlett and Eduardo Morlan. Garza became a star pitcher for Tampa Bay, Bartlett an everyday shortstop, while Young has struggled to build on his debut, 2010 excepted.

The Rays weren't finished, either, turning Garza into several pieces (the deal will probably be known as the Hak-Ju Lee deal in a few years), and Bartlett into four prospects as well. When people turn their first loves into younger models, they are generally castigated. When baseball teams do it, they are deservedly praised. Such is the fate of Delmon Young, The First Wives Club of recent picks. The same can be said of 2002's top pick, Bryan Bullington, who bounced around after Pittsburgh waived him in 2008. The Pirates, of course, didn't get anything for Bullington, let alone the bounty Tampa eventually pillaged for Young.

But there's a third story, the revenge served by number one picks. This is best illustrated by 1999's Josh Hamilton and 2000's Adrian Gonzalez. In each case, the drafting team gave up, in retrospect, far too quickly. Hamilton's story has a Matt Bush quality to it, of course, while Gonzalez's is just baffling.

Hamilton, following his 1999 selection, showed the ability to hit at every level- unlike Bush. However, he had persistent off-field issues, stemming from substance abuse. As a result, he didn't play in a minor league game in 2003, 2004 or 2005, and just 15 in 2006. Finally, the Rays allowed him to go unprotected into the 2006 Rule 5 Draft, and the Cubs drafted him. Cubbies win, right? Nope, Cubs sold him that same day to the Cincinnati Reds. He posted an OPS+ of 131 for the Reds in 2007, making the league minimum. Then Cincinnati traded him to Texas for Edinson Volquez and Danny Herrera, and he's been making pitchers (and guys who buy his batting practice jersey) look foolish ever since.

By contrast, the Marlins gave up on Gonzalez after just three years. The 2000 top pick posted strong numbers in 2000, 2001, and even 2002 as a 20-year-old at Double-A. And yet, fighting through an elbow injury in 2003 that curtailed his power, the Marlins decided to deal Gonzalez, Ryan Snare and Will Smith (not the Men in Black guy) to Texas for Ugueth Urbina. I guess flags fly forever, but wow, that's a lot for a rental. His power returned in 2004 and 2005, but Texas still didn't know what it had, and traded Gonzalez to the Padres, where he became one of the elite first basemen in baseball. He's now fulfilling that role for the Boston Red Sox.

But let's not assume that these top pick stories will all end in misery and missed opportunities. After all, just this weekend, 1990's top pick, Chipper Jones, hit a home run for his original team, the Atlanta Braves. Jones and the Braves are still together after all these years – sometimes love truly does conquer all.

Much of the baseball world was abuzz this week over the comments Fred Wilpon made in The New Yorker about his players and team. The attention is understandable, since the comments appear to be both wrong on the merits and antithetical to Wilpon's own self-interest. But ill-advised comments are nothing new for baseball owners.

After all, as Bill Veeck once said, "Baseball must be a great game, because the owners haven't been able to kill it." I thought it would be fun to see what the closest historical comparables are for each of Wilpon's gaffes this week (by all means, let me know in the comments section if I'm missing any – these are far from scientific conclusions).

On Carlos Beltran: “We had some schmuck in New York who paid him based on that one series. He’s sixty five to seventy per cent of what he was.”

Closest comp: When George Steinbrenner said of Dave Winfield: "Where is Reggie Jackson? We need a Mr. October or a Mr. September. Winfield is Mr. May."

Similarities include criticizing a player for only coming through during a specific time of year. Naturally, Beltran hasn't had much chance to come through during postseasons for the Mets. Even his famous 'failure' – a strikeout to end Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS – came in a series in which he hit three home runs.

On Jose Reyes: "He thinks he’s going to get Carl Crawford money,” Wilpon said, referring to the left fielder's seven-year, $142MM contract with Boston. “He’s had everything wrong with him,” Wilpon said of Reyes. “He won’t get it.”

Closest comp: When Reds owner Bill DeWitt sent Frank Robinson to Baltimore for pitchers Milt Pappas and Jack Baldschun and outfielder Dick Simpson in January 1966, he defended the trade by explaining that Robinson was "an old 30." Robinson went on to win the triple crown for Baltimore in 1966, and starred with the Orioles for many seasons to come.

Similarities include a shocking misread of the market for a player, and an attempt to denigrate an in-prime star. DeWitt was wise enough to wait until after he traded his player, of course.

On David Wright: "He’s pressing,” Wilpon said. “A really good kid. A very good player. Not a superstar.”

Closest comp: Charlie Finley said to Vida Blue after the 1972 season, "So you won twenty games? Why didn't you win thirty?"

Similarities include a failure to recognize elite talent right in front of him. However, Finley had a larger purpose: to pay Blue less in ongoing contract negotiations. With Wright signed through 2013, Wilpon's motivations are far less clear.

On the Mets: “Good hitter,” Wilpon said in reference to first baseman Ike Davis. “S***** team—good hitter. Lousy clubs — that’s what happens.”

Closest comp: Anything George Steinbrenner ever said after the Yankees lost in the playoffs.

Similarities include the disparaging of the very team each man owned. The difference was that in Steinbrenner's case, the Yankees had usually won well over 90 games and made the playoffs.

Earlier in the week, we showed how no-hit pitchers arrived at their place of immortality. But when Francisco Liriano pitched a no-hitter Tuesday, he did more than just assure himself a permanent spot in baseball's record books. If history is any guide, he gave himself an added measure of job security.

Since 2004, 13 pitchers have thrown 15 total no-hitters (Mark Buehrle and Roy Halladay have two apiece). Only three of them have changed teams since: Edwin Jackson, Matt Garza and Randy Johnson. In each case, financial considerations played a huge part in the deals.

But for the rest, large market or small, the no-hitter has helped cement their places with their teams – from Anibal Sanchez with the Marlins to Carlos Zambrano with the Cubs.

And if you think that's stability, note that of the last 13 catchers to catch the last 16 no-hitters, 11 are still with the same team. They aren't all household names, either – a good number of them, like Drew Butera for Francisco Liriano, were backups. Still, from Robby Hammock (Randy Johnson 2004) to Eli Whiteside (Jonathan Sanchez), Landon Powell (Dallas Braden) to Ramon Castro (Mark Buehrle, Part II), catching a no-hitter has been good for job security.

Not universally, of course: Miguel Olivo caught Sanchez's no-hitter in Florida, then was allowed to leave as a free agent. And just months after catching Ubaldo Jimenez's April 2010 no-hitter in Colorado, the Rockies sent him to Toronto, which promptly declined his 2011 option.

That is not to say that Liriano should buy a house in Minnesota without pause. Bud Smith pitched a no-hitter for St. Louis in September, 2001, only to get dealt in July 2002 for Scott Rolen. Indeed, the Cardinals made a habit of dealing no-hitting pitchers, trading Jose Jimenez in November 1999 as part of a seven-player deal to net Darryl Kile, just months after his June 1999 no-no. Kile, for his part, had thrown a no-hitter for Houston in 1993, then stayed an Astro until 1997. And he left of his own accord, signing a free agent contract with Colorado.

Indeed, going back further, the recent deals involving Garza and Jackson just months after their moments of glory stand out that much more. A number of no-hitter authors signed free agent contracts, but generally, no-hit pitchers like Eric Milton (the last to do it for the Twins before Liriano) and Chris Bosio earned the chance to spend years with their teams.

Exceptions like Kevin Brown and Al Leiter with the Marlins were due to financial reasons. And in the case of David Wells, who got dealt to Toronto for Roger Clemens just months after his 1998 perfect game, the Yankees saw the error of their ways and re-acquired him two years later.

Dave Stieb is probably the finest example of no-hit glory enduring. He managed, incredibly, to get 8 2/3 innings of no-hit ball, and two strikes of the way toward a no-no in consecutive starts back in 1988 for the Toronto Blue Jays. In 1989, he had a perfect game broken up with two outs in the ninth. But finally, on September 2, 1990, he pitched that elusive no-hitter. It appeared back problems had ended his career in 1993, but five years later, he wanted to come back. Who gave him another chance? That magical no-hit place, the Toronto Blue Jays.

Of course, to truly assure himself a permanent place in Minnesota for as long as he wants, Liriano would be best off throwing multiple no-hitters. Of the five pitchers with three or more, Nolan Ryan, Bob Feller and Sandy Koufax weren't traded once from the moment they threw their first (though Ryan moved around a bit, thanks to lucrative free agent contracts). Cy Young and Larry Corcoran got traded and loaned, respectively, but both notched their no-nos in the dead ball era.

And if Liriano can perform the feat back-to-back, he should be even safer. Johnny Vander Meer is the only pitcher to perform such a feat, back in 1938. That kept him in Cincinnati until February, 1950.

In my recent column about how teams replace sudden losses, I wrote that I had some problems with that movie. I figured this would be a relatively uncontroversial statement, but loyal reader Ernesto Figueroa wrote:

Hello! I would love to read more about your problems with the film The Babe starring John Goodman. I really enjoyed the film & want to know more about your criticisms.

Ernesto, I'm glad you asked. I even went back and re-watched. Simply put, I found the writing and directing to be nearly cartoonish, with characters assigned one face that they were required to keep on throughout. I would blame the actors, but when even people like James Cromwell and John Goodman are guilty of it, it pretty much has to be the direction. And Goodman's Ruth magically goes from a child who speaks like he is five until age 30 to a wise old man from 31 through the end of the film.

But this is a baseball site, not Roger Ebert's site. So I will point out the shocking baseball transgressions in the film.

Read more

With Opening Day so close I'm having hot dog-based fever dreams, I decided to face a pair of problems squarely. One is how to properly organize my thoughts about the critical storylines we'll be following on MLB Trade Rumors this season. The other? How to entertain my daughter, who just turned one. Let's face it: after a while, even an infant turns to you with a look that says: "I get it. Pat the Bunny is both a proper name and a suggestion. What else you got?"

So to help her to sleep at night, let's take a look at what will keep the rest of us up, furiously refreshing the page:

A is for Albert, El Hombre's contract year

Who will show him the money? Should Cardinals fans have fear?

B is for Beltran, the limping Met in right

Look for New York to deal him to someone in the fight

C is for Crawford, who Sox got with late swoop

Did Boston overpay? And how do Rays regroup?

D is for Doug Davis, a story sweet and true

He'll soon help some rotation, and tears will flow on cue

E is for Ethier, who Dodgers may soon deal

While stardom is elusive, his production is for real

F is for Fielder, first baseman oversized

Who may lead Brew to pennant, then be free agent prize

G is for Gerrit, Cole should go first in draft

Consensus is a different pick would be extremely daft

H is for Houston, where Drayton's leaving town

New boss must reverse trend of Astros heading down

I is for Iannetta, catcher a mile high

Will he fulfill potential? Or will Rockies say goodbye?

J is for Javy, the once (and future?) stud

Will move from Yanks to Marlins revive this Gotham dud?

K is for K-Rod, will his huge option vest?

If he finishes 55, the Mets have failed their test

L is for Lee, last winter's big to-do

If Cliff's performance dips, how soon will Philly boo?

M is for McCourt, whose divorce battle rages

Will it affect the Dodgers' ability to pay their wages?

N is for Nathan, who's back from elbow woes

A large amount of money will ride on how he throws

O is for Orioles, with new faces from the past

In league's toughest division, they still should finish last

P is for Pirates, where hope is finally seen

Will record, after years of losing, mirror Charlie Sheen?

Q is for Quentin, Pale Hose need him to bash

With strong walk year, by winter's end he'll be awash in cash

R is for Reyes, a decent bet to go

A bidding war this summer will deal Mets fans a blow

S is for Sabathia, opt-out can make him free

But who'll outbid the Yankees? No one that we can see

T is for Tampa, in division nonpareil

Rays spent sparingly this winter, but what they spent, spent well

U is for Utley, who battles Wounded Knee

If he cannot recover, who will his stand-in be?

V is for Victor, who Tigers signed for bat

But now they'll catch Avila? I mean, what's up with that?

W is for Wilpon, who faces massive debts

The smart money says he will be forced to sell the Mets

X is for Xavier, left fielder at Chase 

Expect him to have 25 home run pace

Y is for Yankees, and here is some advice

When you deal them a pitcher, make Montero the price

Z is for Zambrano, half-pitcher and half-storm

Says here that he will recapture his earlier ace form